Why do I write?
I have been contemplating on this question for a long time. Moreover, since last week. The question troubled me from the beginning, perhaps when I wrote my first essay as a kid, for which I won a silver medal. I started reading others, talking to people on why they write. Some said, they write for themselves. Others write for other people. Some journalists, I met, said they wrote because "media is 4 the estate of democracy", "some said because they love storytelling." And I internalized all these statements to such an extent, that I started to become angry, when I saw none of the statements above, had the outcome, I desired. Injustice still prevails. People still fight. I am feeling unhappy. I am sick. People didn't appreciate what I wrote. Some people didn't appreciate my reporting and they said it is all one sided. I kept growing angrier, sad, lonely. I couldn't find the purpose of my life, of my being and my writing. I wanted to do something for myself, for my world, for our planet, for our environment. But I couldn't. I felt burdened, like I am not up to the mark. That, no matter what, I do, I will never make a difference. That I am useless.
And then today, something happened. A thought came to my mind. Why do I write? Because I want to share my thoughts and ideas with the world. I have stories, which I want the world to know. But I am not doing it for the world or others. I am also not doing it for myself. I am doing it for the purpose of my being.
My job is to share ideas, highlight challenges and suggest solutions. Whether people agree, disagree, whether my ideas are being implemented or not, is none of my business. Because, I have already fulfilled my job. I have perhaps, done my role by doing my job- which is share whatever, I feel. Tell, what makes me happy. Highlight what I see as wrong and suggest solutions, which I find apt as per my understanding.
Stop being or trying to understand what others mean. Be more me. Be more my power. Be myself. And listen to the world. Ruminate on it. If I find something good, pick it up. If something is bad, say it through my writing and suggest alternatives.
Find inner strength & healing.
